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We need to feel like we belong before we can extend an invitation to others. That’s what today’s guest at the Turquoise Table, Whitney Bell, reminded Kristin a few Sundays ago as Whitney gave a sermon at Kristin’s church. Whitney is the middle school ministry director at Kristin’s church in Austin, and she’s guided not only Kristin’s four kids, but scores of middle schoolers in her tenure. And whether you’re in the trenches with teens or looking for more inspiration on how to love deep, you’ll drink deeply from Whitney’s advice. Today Whitney and Kristin talk about practical and creative ways to connect with your teen, even when they shy away from deep conversations, and why it’s important for kids to have trusted adults in their lives in addition to their parents. Kristin and Whitney share insight not only for those of us with teens, but wisdom we can all take away about the power of connection and welcome: sometimes the best way to love someone is to sit with them and be, accepting them just as they are. And be sure to stay till the end for a delicious snack recipe that that’ll make your house smell like heaven and become a fall favorite.
Show Summary:
A few Sunday mornings ago, I was sitting in the pew at my church and heard the most profound sermon from one of my favorite people.
The speaker? Our middle school ministry director, Whitney Bell.
The sermon? “The Welcome of Christ.”
What Whitney shared with us that day took me right back to the Table. She talked about acceptance, and how we need to feel like we belong before we can extend that invitation to others. Since Whitney has gained so wisdom guiding kids through adolescence, I knew you’d love to hear her advice on how we can show our teens how much they’re loved, and how we can help them share that love with others at the tables they encounter in their young loves.
Because after all, we love because He first loved us.
You are going to love hearing about the practical and creative ways to connect with your teen, even when they shy away from deep conversations; why it’s important for teens to have trusted adults in their lives in addition to their parents; and how C.S. Lewis’ Voyage of the Dawn Treader shows us that sometimes the best way to love someone is to sit with them and be, just as they are, dragon scales and all.
You will drink deeply from this episode, dear ones, whether you’re in the trenches with teens or just looking for inspiration from the Table on how to love deep.
Kitchen Segment: Homemade Chex Mix
Links/Products/Recipes Discussed:
Whitney’s Sermon, “The Welcome of Christ”
Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis
Interview Quotes:
“One of the most important things in a parent’s vocabulary is ‘Tell me more. Tell me more about that.’ Just keep leaning in and digging in. Often, your student does want to talk—they just don’t know how to talk. [You are] giving them the tools to express themselves.”– Whitney Bell
“How can we get [our kids] to accept each other? How can we get them to go to that lunch table of the kid that’s not cool and welcome them into their table? . . . How can we remind our students that they themselves have been welcomed to the table of Christ? Because then they will be able to extend it.”
– Whitney Bell
“What middle schoolers do is they try on different identities. They are going to try on this hat and that hat. and this hat and that hat. What we need to know is that it’s okay for them to do that.”
– Whitney Bell
“Another thing that I think that is really smart to do is make sure that your student has people to talk to outside of you. . . . [Remind] them that they have people in their lives no matter what is going on, right? ‘No matter what, these are your safe people. Hopefully, Mom and Dad are included in that.’ But it’s having the conversation of, ‘If you are at a party and you’ve had too much to drink and you know you shouldn’t drive, here are your safe people to call. And I’m included in that. I love you, and I want you to feel safe with me.’”
– Whitney Bell
“Most of my great conversations, specifically with my son—but then with my daughters when things were little troubling, let’s say—have been side by side, not face to face. Meaning, we’ll be in the front seat of the car, or the girls and I will go for a walk.
– Kristin Schell
“Whether or not you have teenagers, if you are human and if you are in this world and on this planet, you have people, neighbors, friends, acquaintances, co-workers that we are called to walk beside, no matter the differences, no matter the scales.”
– Kristin Schell
Connect with Whitney: