Last night after supper — frozen taquitos from Whole Foods, by the way — the Littles and I went for a walk in our neighborhood. The long awaited cool front, there’s never really a cold one in Austin, blew in over the weekend the Littles declared an after supper walk a must.
“It’s a tradition!” one of them shouted already half out of the chair.
“I’m not really sure our after dinner walks are a tradition, sweetie.” I replied without thinking.
“Sure they are Mom, it’s something we do after dinner when the weather is cooler.”
Well, there you go. A family tradition.
As we were strolling through our ‘hood, I told them when I was a little girl we used to go on walks in the evenings at my grandparent’s house in Kansas. As we passed each house, Grandma would tell a little story about the neighbors who lived there.
“Every night?”
“Pretty much. Then we’d sit, actually Grandma and Grandpa would sit, on the back patio while the children ran circles around the house. Grandpa would time us for fun,” I smiled remembering. It’s been thirty years or more since I ran barefoot in the soft ryegrass.
“What was your best time?” my athletic minded son asked.
“I could run the perimeter of the entire house in under 30 seconds flat,” I probably fibbed.
“How did you run around the house? Could you jump fences?” My curious and insightful daughter wondered.
“There were no fences between houses where my grandparents lived.”
“Mom, you’ve told us this story a million times,” my matter of fact and truth speaking daughter reminded.
“She’s told this story a million times because it’s a family tradition, ding dong.” An uncensored sibling mouthed off.
Family traditions.
I woke up this morning thinking about family traditions in the context of outrageous hospitality. Traditions are outrageously important to the overall health and well-being of the family. A recent article from the New York Times, The Stories That Bind Us, shares that the secret to happy families is having a strong family narrative. Meaning, children who grow up knowing their family story, both the good and bad, fare better in self-esteem, emotional health, and happiness. The article recommends that parents should pursue occasions to convey the family’s sense of history – holidays, vacations, family get-togethers, and family traditions. The hokier the family tradition, the better!
I like this article, and have written about it before, but this morning it seemed a bit heavy on the head knowledge, quoting MDs, PhDs, and studies. So, I conducted a more informal poll. I asked the family. For a sleepy crew, they perked up and gave me their best.
What are our family traditions? Here’s what the Littles, and a coffee seeking Husband, came up with at 7:00 am:
- annual trip to the Christmas Tree Farm in Elgin
- Saturday UT football games
- Wacky 17 hour road trips to Colorado {what happens in the minivan, stays in the minivan!}
- Sabbath Suppers
- Friday Movie Nights
- Tres Leches Cake for birthdays and family celebrations
- Piñatas on Christmas Day for our Birthday Party for Jesus
- Traditional Passover Seder during Holy Week
Why are these traditions important? {I may or may not have offered a strawberry breakfast smoothie as incentive to help me}
- They make us feel special
- Road trips are boooooring, but I guess they are kinda fun. I like it when we all make jokes and eat junk food together.
- When we feel loved we are able to love others
What do you think about our family traditions being hokey?
- Hokey is fine, but just not in public. That would be super embarrassing.
- You mean like the hokey pokey?
- Hey mom, you should write about hokey being outrageous. Aren’t they kinda the same thing?
- When things are hokey or outrageous you remember it better. Even if it’s embarrassing.
I really wish the Littles didn’t have to go to school. I could put them to work writing for me. I think they understand outrageous hospitality far better than I do, this morning. Family traditions, hokey or not, bind us. They make us feel connected, valued, and loved. And, from the mouth of my child, not a psychologist, “when we feel love, we are able to love others.”
Before my focus group shuffled off to school, Will texted me the video he took of Sarah last night on our walk.
“You gotta use this, Mom. She’s outrageously hokey!”
https://vimeo.com/76421232
Table Talk #8: What is one of your family’s hokey family traditions?
you know I simply loved this:) I am the family storyteller. I am getting this image of the village storyteller who sits around the fire (but in my head it’s a big pot of stew), and they are telling the tales to ages young and old with eyes peering knowing what will happen next. We are the village storyteller:)
Kamille,
Hmmm…this reminds me of a conversation we had many moons ago about a collaboration on Stone Soup. Me thinks the village storytellers have an idea. 😉
See, we lost all that–the hokeyness. It became something else. This post reminds me to remind us of those times. They were real. They were good.
Yes, Megan. Remind yourselves. Please.
Krisitn – I have absolutely loved this series – and this one if my favorite so far. Hokey is GOOD sometimes, isn’t it? Nicely done.
Diana,
Thank you. I come from a long line of hokey! 😉
Megan, I thought of you when I wrote this. And prayed. Love you, my friend.