What about the other mama?

Yesterday, Husband & I took Littlest to her spine doctor. We make these treks frequently to monitor any change in the curves of her spine. As the saying goes, this wasn’t our first rodeo, so truthfully I wasn’t concerned about the appointment. It’s just part of our routine with Littlest. That is not to say I’m not burdened with questions, worries and hope for our daughter’s diagnosis. It’s just that knew this particular appointment wouldn’t yield high drama.

And it didn’t. At least not in a medical sort of way. Littlest pranced into the xray room (by herself this time) they took a few films, gave her some My Littlest Pony stickers and we talked about what’s next with her surgeon. Next =  another round of scans which will be scheduled in the next couple of weeks.

Can we stop right here and give thanks and praise to our Lord? For the calm and peaceful ease in which we attended this appointment. For Littlest’s ability to be more concerned with what stickers she was going to pick than whether her kyphosis or curves increased?  For the prayers that bathed Husband and I and resulted in clear minds and calm hearts. And for the gift of time. Praise God for more time! And for the seemingly small decision of her doctor to only order a CT Scan and not feel the necessity for an MRI right now. Performing only a CT Scan requires 1/2 the amount of time Littlest will be under general anesthesia. God has been so merciful and gracious throughout.

But, my heart quickened yesterday in a way that I didn’t expect. I can’t really explain, so I’ll copy my journal entry from earlier this morning:

For Granted

I hopped in the plush leather clad seats of our new mini van, picked up Littlest at our neighborhood pre-school, and dashed across town to an amazingly impressive and gorgeous building — Children’s Hospital. For $3 I parked my swagger wagon in a sheltered garage with hundreds of cars all visiting ‘Specially for Children at Dell Children’s Medical Center. For four years we’ve made these visits. Each time I am more grateful than the last of our cross to bear. When friends ask referring to Littlest’s congenital scoliosis “how do you do it?” I often reply “it’s only floor 3. I can handle floor 3. Floor 4 is Hematology/Oncology and Palliative Care.” It seems selfish to write that, but it’s true. And humbling.  

Yesterday was good news for Littlest. More time for her spine. Husband & I are yoked. Together we decided to seek a second opinion, explore our options and learn more about this rare condition bending Littlest’s spine. Within hours of our appointment we received not one, but two, entrees to another unique and glorious institution in Dallas. I’m in awe and praise of the immediacy of God’s answered prayers. And so grateful for the many prayer warriors standing in the gap, praying for wisdom, discernment and clarity for Husband & I to know what to do next for Littlest.

But I wonder? Is there a child, just like Littlest, who has NO access to medical care? Is there a mama who wonders about her child’s curiously bending spine and has no one to tell her what congenital kyphosis means? Or to advise her that two tiny mal-formed hemi-vertebrae in her child’s still developing back are causing part of the curves and need to be removed? 

The choices we have for Littlest are a gift. Sheer provision. Choices of doctors, hospitals, treatments, and for medical insurance. Littlest’s condition is rare, but we have options. 

What about the ones who don’t, Lord? Who will teach them about rare and difficult spine issues? Who will show them? Heal them? How can they be healed if they don’t know YOU???? Lord, my heart breaks for the mama and her Littlest who don’t know why the spine bends askew. Who don’t know the words congenital, kyphosis, vertebra. But, more importantly, Lord, my heart breaks for those who don’t know You.

Show us, Lord. Where we should go.

Thank you for your prayers for Littlest, for our family, for wisdom and discernment for what we should do next regarding medical care. Can I be bold enough to ask that in addition to praying for our medical needs that you lift up those who have no options or access to medical specialists? Will you stand in the gap with me and pray that God’s miraculous, merciful hand will touch and heal those who do not know.

Thank you and much love,

Kristin