“What does it mean to offer Outrageous Hospitality to others?”
Isn’t that an awesome question? I wish I had asked it, but the question was posed on Facebook last November by the editors of The High Calling. I love this question. And, it makes me think. Really think.
What does Outrageous Hospitality even mean? I responded with a blog post to the original question, but for the past eleven months the notion of outrageous hospitality has been banging around in my head.
Backstory.
I grew up in the 70s & 80s. In Dallas. The Ewing Family and Martha Stewart reigned supreme. Certainly I knew many gracious and hospitable women, my mother being the best role model ever, but the culture around me screamed entertainment. And being from Big D? Well, as they say, “everything is bigger in Texas.” And in Dallas, the bigger the better. Big hair. Big parties. BIG entertainment.
If the first twenty years of my life were influenced by BIG, I’ve spent the last two decades learning to be small. Ironically, this is a big undertaking. Luckily, God’s got my back. And, he’s been teaching me what hospitality means from his perspective, not the world’s, or even Big D’s.
God gave me the spiritual gift of hospitality and the ministry of my kitchen table. Even though I’ve been writing about food & faith for nearly a decade, I feel like I’m only just beginning to scratch the surface of what God’s teaching me. Which is why I thought we’d spend the month of October learning together about Outrageous Hospitality.
What do we know about hospitality?
- The practice of hospitality almost always includes a shared meal.
- Hospitality is central to the meaning of the Gospel.
- When we welcome strangers into our homes we tear down walls of division and alienation.
- Sharing a table promotes inclusion.
- The very act of breaking bread (or tortilla chips!) together validates the worth of those gathered at the table.
I’m not a theologian or a politician, but I believe most social ills could be addressed or prevented by the simple act of sharing a meal. There I go again with a BIG statement. But change in our families, communities, and the world might be accomplished one small bite at a time by offering genuine hospitality to others. And because BIG tendencies die hard in me, make that OUTRAGEOUS hospitality.
Y’all know I’m a fool for suppertime. My friend and neighbor, Susie and I are about half way through our year long challenge 52 Sunday Suppers. 31 Days of Outrageous Hospitality is an extension of the heart behind 52 Sunday Suppers. Think of our next month together as adding leaves to the dining room table. I’ll be expanding the conversation and meaning behind the importance of gathering at the table.
Together we’ll get to the heart of hospitality.
A little housekeeping before we get started. If you aren’t already subscribed to my blog, please sign up to receive the 31 Days of Outrageous Hospitality posts via email. Join the conversation on The Schell Cafe Facebook page and instagram.
I’m excited and so grateful you are here. At the end of each day, I’ll pose a question called table talk. Let’s start a meaningful conversation. Join me and post your answer in the comment section below.
Day 1: Table Talk
What does Outrageous Hospitality mean to you?
Welcome to the table, friends.
Love,
I love throwing parties and find myself in a weird predicament . . . living in a place where I have no true community, as much as I’ve tried for five years. I think I’ve given up so perhaps your words will be the inspiration I need to think differently about it. Looking forward to this Kristin.
Thank you, Shelly. I love throwing parties too. In fact, parties are the first thing I think of when I think of hospitality. But, lately God has shown me new ways to think about serving and loving through hospitality. I’ll be praying for the longing of your heart, friend.
What a great question! Sharing a meal is critical, like you said. When I imagine who is gathered around the table are those who are different from me. People who don’t look like me, think like me, make the same amount of money, dress like me, vote like me, etc. To be truly “outrageous” I think the some of the people around the table need to make me uncomfortable.
YES! Oh I love this April. I danced around the topic of strangers and social and cultural differences in the first post…didn’t want to scare everyone off the first day. But, what you’ve said is the heart of hospitality. Now the million dollar question is HOW? How do we open our doors to welcome in friends and stranger alike? What does that even look like? Maybe we’ll scratch the surface together over the next 31 Days. Thanks for joining the conversation, April.
My dear Mama is my definition of outrageous hospitality. She loved people by feeding them and even if the visitor was unexpected, she would whip something right up if they were hungry (and maybe even if they weren’t). If in the course of conversation a need was mentioned, she might offer a belonging of hers – blankets, coats, clothes, pots and pans, some of her home-canned vegetables/preserves, or even one of the beautiful oil paintings she had painted herself. We were not rich, so what we had to share was sometimes limited, but she shared anyway. When we moved to a smaller house, she still gave and gave. If someone was needing a place to stay while they were in our town, she would clean the master bedroom thoroughly and put the guest in there while she and Daddy slept on the fold-out couch. Some guests objected to this, but she was hearing none of it. She modeled hospitality for us every day. When my brother and I were younger, she would read us the book “If Jesus Came To My House”, which is an amazing little book about outrageous hospitality. I still have our rather worn copy of that book. In fact, I might have to read that to the grandchildren tonight. Wow. Kristin, thank you for giving me a space to revisit those precious memories.
Oh Carolyn, You just took us straight to the heart of hospitality. What a gift to have outrageous hospitality modeled by your own mama. Thanks for reminding me of “If Jesus Came To My House” I need to read that to the Littles, and MYSELF, too! So grateful you are at the table. Your friendship blesses me so. xo
Most of my best memories are around the table with friends and family.
One time in Texas comes to mind as a super sweet memory. I think you know the one…
Xo,
Stacey
I do remember a special weekend filled with HOPE. I’m still holding out for a repeat weekend with you and Brooke. Y’all are welcome at my table anytime – virtual AND real. xo
I’m hoping to absorb your lessons! Hospitality, over the years, has become a stressful chore for me. I try to make everything perfect and forget to enjoy the process. I can’t wait to get back to the basics and start enjoying these moments again!
Me too, Missy! My tendency is to entertain, not offer hospitality. I think of so many dinners and holidays I’ve hosted where I was so busy “making things Pinterest Perfect” I missed the joy and opportunity to enjoy. Glad we are in this together…especially since we share our big ol family. 😉
Took the words right out of my mouth!!
well sweet friend, I feel like I should stop writing my 31 days and simply come here as this is it. I can only imagine growing up in Dallas with the appearance of hospitality. I will save some of my answer in a future post.
But…
Outrageous Hospitality is making room when it’s most inconvenient. It’s 5:00 and husband gets home, I’m at the stove finishing up dinner, baby semi-content, older girls possibly on the edge, table still not set and then the neighbor comes over asking if we can watch his little girl for just a moment. Just a moment turns into 30 minutes.
I have options in how I choose to respond. Grumble and complain because it’s inconvenient and bothersome, or willingly see a moment I get to be the hands & feet of Jesus. Feed a snack and allow for space in my life for these moments.
I love you dearly and I am praying for you today!
Hospitality is inconvenient when we make it about us, huh? Love how you opened your heart and chose to respond. This is a great story that encourages me to do the same. ‘Cause if I’m honest this situation could have gone either way for me. (Wine sometimes helps. 😉 )
Sweet friend,
Love hearing your heart in your writings. And I love how God uses your words to prick my heart. I am a “work in progress” when it comes to hospitality. We got a great flavor for the blessings of hospitality and living in community while living aboard. We have tried to recreate that here and found that it is somehow more difficult in the states. People are sooo busy and over scheduled in our circles. We’ve had countless invitations turned down. Trusting your series will encourage me to brave my insecurities and just keep asking.
Love & Blessings,
Kim
Kim,
Aren’t we all a “work in progress”!!! What convicts me most about your words is the reminder of how busy and overscheduled we all are. We, ok I, use the excuse that our busyness consists of all good things, but it allows zero margin for slowing down and just being in fellowship together. Community. We were created for it. Why is it so hard? Love you, friend.
I’ll be honest–the word “hospitality” all by itself scares me. “Outrageous hospitality?” AACK!!! Good Lord, deliver me from having to have people over! However, I am reading this month for other reasons. You have ministered to me over the last few months in ways that no one else could. I want to understand why. I think it has something to do with hospitality, outrageous or otherwise.
Megan,
I am so touched by your words. Truly. I’m very seldom at a loss for words, so just thank you. Thank you for being here. And, whatever gifts you receive from me or this small space is all from our great and loving God. I love you dearly, Megan.
Hospitality doesn’t come naturally to me, so God opened a BIG door when my girls became teens and my boys went to college. Suddenly my home was filled with the teen and early 20’s crowd every. single. weekend and some weeknights. At first it overwhelmed me. But these kids wanted to be here. Chose to be here. Found creative ways to get here. Dropped every phone and iDevice on the kitchen table the minute they walked in the door and didn’t pick them up again till they left for the night or after breakfast in the morning. These kids, who call me “Mama Re”, stretched my heart wide and opened my home to a hospitality I never expected. We have Wednesday kids and Sunday kids and Between-dorm-shut-down-and-securing-rides-home-for-the-holidays kids, and I love. every. single. minute. of it. It’s loud and laughter-filled, with regular jam and song-writing sessions, board games and card tricks, football, basketball, and Ultimate Frisbee, bonfires, Tiki Torches, and always there are more cups than I can count. It’s rarely convenient, sometimes expensive, and always absolutely worth it! That is what Outrageous Hospitality means to me. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to joining you on this 31 day journey, Kristin!
Well, Mama Re. I have the sneaking suspicion that hospitality comes very naturally to you! I want to be part of your Outrageously Hospitable craziness one day. So glad you are here. I’ve got lots to learn from you. Love you, K
I’m re-reading Timothy Keller’s book, The Prodigal God. Have you read it? Right at the beginning, Keller says the word prodigal is an adjective meaning recklessly extravagant; having spent everything. When it comes to hospitality — the outrageousness of it — I want to be like that. Not in the sense that I go to Pier One and spend all my money on pillows and place settings and scented candles. But that I go “all in” when it comes to my relationships.
I once heard a minister say the word hospitality in the dictionary falls between the words hospital and hostel. One, a place a refuge, the other a place of healing (this was back in the days before all of those freaky hostel movies). I hope people feel that when they show up at my door, or my web site, or my dinner table, or on the other end of the phone. I hope they feel safe when they enter, and healed when they leave.
Oh Deidra! Yes. What an encouragement for us all to be “all in.” I find it interesting that you mention hostel and hospital, as I’ve been in BOTH this week with Littlest. God taught me some fascinating truths about being “all in” this week. On the giving and receiving end.
You know what? I have the Prodigal God on my bookshelf. I think it’s time to dust it off.
Thank you for hanging out, sharing, and being at the table. I learn every time you speak. Love to you, my “all in” friend!
I think to me it means everyone feel welcome and at ease.